5 reasons why doors are better than girlfriends

This is my first completely random, with emphasis on random, post evah....

Well, like it says in the title, doors are better than girlfriends. There are a number of reasons why. I'm just too lazy to think of all of them at once so here's 5 reasons why doors are better than girlfriends

Before I continue, I must warn you. There are some reasons that are for adults only...
...or those who don't really care if they're below 18 ...
...or those who know how random this blog is.

1. They never complain when you touch them.
yeah... you can touch a door anywhere and it won't complain at all. Women ,on the other hand, well the only women who won't complain are the prostitutes, the low class. A door made of diamond , a high-class door, won't complain how many times you poke it. Am I right?

2. They won't leave you.

yup. They just stay there. They'll wait for you 'til the end of time. It's rare to see a person whose that loyal. For doors, they'll even outlast you.

3. You can play with them all you want
t's fun to play with your girlfriends and all but after a while they get tired... and call it quits for the day. Doors, however, have unimaginable stamina. They can go on all day if you want. The games you play can range from innocent and sweet to adult fun... however you like it.

4. They'll "open" if you want them to. *
Its hard to get a woman to "open" specially if you're not that good-looking or she ain't a prostitute. Those are the wholesome girls some guys like. Doors, well, they'll open alright. Then you can go in, out, in, out, in, out as much as you want. Exciting no? There are those tight doors, hard to get in, while there are also those wide doors where you can share with another guy when you go in or out. There are some doors which will "open" as soon as you get near them. No hassle of flirting and all that shizz, just straightforward to the point and down to business.

5. They never press charges
For those guys who like it rough, they may end up hurting their girlfriends. If that's the case, good luck trying to hurt the door! That thing won't start whimpering if you start smacking it. Hurt your girlfriend, you can end up getting sued. You wont be even charged with homicide if you break a door in two.

And that's 5 reasons why doors are better than girlfriends!

*NOTE: Doors are easily led around and will "open" to anyone who wants them to. If you don't want you're door to "open" to other people, please remember to place a lock. I believe it's cheaper than chastity belts. Also, repairmen are cheaper than therapists.